national day is just a few days away. i forgot how many days. cos tv is counting down everything from n-day to singapore idol to the athens. i didnt bother to hang anything, not even a red rag to pass of as a flag. But to show my patriotism for my country, here r some singhapore jokes!

One Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America.
A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing?" Singh answered, " No, I am Banta Singh."
Another guy came and asked the him the same question.
Singh answered, "No! No! Me Banta Singh!"
A third one came and asked him the same question again.
Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun.
He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?"


The other Singh was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I
am relaxing."
The Singh slapped him on his face and said, "Stupid, idiot.
Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!"
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A Singh died and went to heaven.
When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in
effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain
admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

The Singh thought for a few minutes and answered...
1.. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and
Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.


Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer,
even though it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds
in a year?"

The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc..."

Saint Peter opens the gate without another word.
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Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and
low all around his living room.
Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?"
Santa: "Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden
cameras here?"
Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why
every few minutes he keeps saying,
'You are watching the Star World channel'. How does he know that?"
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Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him how did on the exam He replied: "Exam
was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought and
at last I
wrote THUNK!!!"
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Two Singhs were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was
crying like hell.

So the other asked, "Why are you crying?"
The first one replied, "I came here for a blood test"
Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid ?"
First one replied, " No, not that. During the blood test they
cut my finger"
Hearing this the second one started crying.
The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you
crying?"
The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."
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A Singh goes to a hotel and eats heartily.
After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the
basin instead.
The manager comes running and asks him, "Mr. Singh, what are
you doing?"
To this the man replies,"Oye, see the board here, "Wash
Basin".